2026.01.14 00:50
i feel motivated today
i want to work hard
update this website, update portfolio, work on good projects for ccc and renee, practice calligraphy diligently, yoga teacher training, PRACTICE
my time will be so well spent
2026.01.14 00:24
yesterday i had a good meeting with chien chi chang and he gifted me prayer flags from bhutan. then i talked for 4 hours with tianran at an old taiwanese joint from 1977, then walked to 五桐號 in zhongshan and sat there chatting. we talked about calligraphy, art marketing, chinese culture and politics, family and relationship dynamics, taiwanese energy, true friends...etc. i had to poop on the mrt so i immediately got off and within 2 minutes i was in a nice bathroom, and then i ubiked home for free instead of went back on the mrt. i got stopped by the police for jay-biking a short crosswalk and it was funny, i blew on a breathalyzer and they let me go, said 路上小心 i said 好謝謝... i'm thankful for taiwan today and this funny little interaction. i performed a dream reality check only about 5 times today. i'm still going at daily stretching, dream journaling, reality checking, reading, practicing calligraphy...
2026.01.12 18:47
i'm at eslite art house alone. i've been out since noon. i fell asleep while squatting at eslite bookstore. looking at everyone and everything makes me feel sad. i'm about to watch my first movie of the year. i was looking forward to fresh popcorn but there are none here. i ate alone at the food court. my throat is ever so slightly scratchy. i haven't been taking any supplements or my tibetan medicine. i don't know how to forgive. earlier at the cafe i wrote "5 reasons to live" inspired by seb's "10 reasons to live" document that they sent over. they said i should marry someone who inspires me with their drive and action and who is selfless and giving since i like acts of services. i'd say seb got it exactly right. i love seb. i love a half empty theater. i feel anxious and stressed about my solo trip with grandma but i know it will be worth it and it will be good, and it will be done. i miss movies a lot. i haven't watched one since i left nyc. i am love
2026.01.10 01:59
thinking back on the moment i received my gireogi bag, the moment i received the bento from your name, the sky flowers painting, flower photos, love letter
i feel loved and protected by forces greater than myself
may i practice the same thoughtfulness and generosity towards others
may i find joy in giving without return
2026.01.10 16:33
han showed me her journals from elementary school and inspired me to look even further back... the earliest i have on my laptop is from 2017/2018
reading my journals from 2018 now
exactly 8 years ago from today
age 21 mad
2018.01.10
"hyperboles gradually wash out the meaning of the rest of your words for the rest of your life"
"I told Justin one of my new years resolution is to be more accurate with my words, and taking back words I said that I did not fully mean."
"other resolutions is digital detox, dont touch phone when dont need to, check fb/email once a day..etc”
2018.01.12
"I like my eyes when I cry
when I don't cry
I want to tell you things with my eyes"
2018.01.14
"this feeling when i think about mom and dad, i think it’s bitterness? guilt? 無奈? helpless? awkward? pain? burdensome? cringey…"
「我只想要當一個 小時候的我會喜歡的人」
既來之則安之
2026.01.10 16:07
sitting at a cafe nearby after taking dogs to the salon and booking calligraphy class for tomorrow. reading my journals from summer 2023
「一切不在我掌控之下
一切卻在我掌控之下」
2026.01.09 23:32
i don't miss america
i don't miss new york
i don't miss prospect park
i don't miss my room
i miss boudha
2026.01.09 22:29
今天喜歡的比喻
台北是個死城 一灘死水
曼谷是一灘有滴答冒泡的水
一切都是禮物
一切都是課題
拿出無敵卡
勇敢的面對一切
以前的 現在的 以後的...
回台北就是不能做自己 這是？我們可以放下的堅持
畢竟「自己」始終只是個幻影 錯覺
今天有伸展 有帶kiki出去 有帶自己出去 有和朋友聊天看海 有練書法
雖然我在台北不大舒服 但是我不想念紐約 也不想念我的房間
我想要給自己的禮物 是時間 鍛鍊 修行 自由
不是回去 也不是安慰 更不是依靠別人
以現在的心態回來 看到朋友經驗裡不一樣的台北
輪迴苦
同情苦
一棟僵在太陽下的死房
一位值得敬佩的奶奶
一位令人心疼又無奈的媽媽
難以面對的爸爸
兩隻寶貝無知的狗狗
一位在漂流的女孩
有一些錢 一些智慧 一些摯友 一些還模糊的夢
我相信當我的睡夢清晰了 人生這場長夢也會成形
之後或許我會有超能力才能...去告訴別人他們不知道的事情 給別人看他們看不到的東西
「爸爸，我們是不是只能知道一半的事情？」
「你看到的我看不到，我看到的你看不到，那我怎麼知道你在看什麼呢？我們只能看到前面，不能看到後面，這樣不就有一半的事情看不到了嗎？」
2026.01.09 12:28
i'm getting a feel of what it's like to have children when living with my two dogs. changing diapers for cartier, wiping pee on the ground, giving her eyedrops, feeding kiki medicine and always wondering about her wellbeing, whether she should go out more, trying to play with her, etc. whenever they cry, i check and feel a deep sense of responsibility to answer to them. they only have us, i am willing to sacrifice my time for their comfort
it's day 9 of 2026 already. i noticed that even with all the food readily available, my appetite is not the best here, my meals aren't consistent, my gut is not content. despite the overall sense of cleanliness and safety, i am in fight or flight mode here
spilling the tea with ri, collaborating with renee, still chilled to my bones by the humidity. thinking about what annie said about uncovering and reprograming our inner beliefs...
i'm glad i am going to han's place now in danshui, i will be near water and get to talk candidly and deeply with a special friend who i don't see often
01.23-02.07... two week solo trip somewhere...?
2025.01.07 17:23
the bone chilling humidity of taipei
facades and street signs washed pale by rain, blushing grey
me, my words, my photos, my videos
a boy who loves me
a body i can strengthen
not of excess but restraint
coherent, aligned, diligent
2026.01.04 01:44
first teaching of the year complete. i was a bit distracted as usual by the screen, but i got good bits and a practice schedule for the next week
"samsara is the intoxicant... we are intoxicated, regarding painful things as pain relieving" - m
"if you don’t sever the root of the mind, it ain’t happening" - m
welp! another year in samsara, let's make it count
2025.01.03 19:47
day 3 of a new year
1 hair wash
1 new skincare item (499 ntd collagen toner pads)
1 meal with grandma
1 short video
2 new shirts (400ntd for 2 vintage long sleeve)
2 cafes
2 books read
2 meals at home
4 things off my todo list